I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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