i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
