Your face is a jimmy john
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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