Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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