so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
