There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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