So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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