we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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