If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
