he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize