That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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