Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You are the jesus of drinking
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
soo... how was my night?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
