i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This baby is an asshole
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
