My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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