I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
