....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just had sex on a roof
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
