you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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