This girl is more easily done than said...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
