kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
