If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
