I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
