just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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