So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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