I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize