i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He better not be in your backpack
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
