you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
