Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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