Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
