So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
