RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
