Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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