I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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