do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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