i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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