): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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