the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
