May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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