Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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