Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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