I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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