Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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