It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
