trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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