you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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