SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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