She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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