considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
