The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
