He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
