hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
what day is it and did you see me today?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
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