Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You smell like stripper and shame
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
