hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
