You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
