The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
