I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
