i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
