Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
