There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
