There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
