if i can run in heels then i can drive
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
