I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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